Updated: Aug 11, 2020
Sexual energy is one of our most powerful energies for creating health. By using sexual energy consciously, whether we are in a relationship or not, we can tap into a true source of youth and vitality.
We can learn to harvest and transport this sexual energy that we cultivate. It can be transported into other areas of our bodies for healing and pleasure as well as into the universe for manifesting dreams and desires.
There are so many schools, teachings, and ideas about how to move our sexual energy. They teach how to have full body orgasms, how to move orgasmic energy up the spine, how to use breathing techniques and hip rocking to do it. There are tantric approaches to it, yogi approaches, books, blogs…you name it. And I advocate for most of them, and used a lot of them myself.
But first, if you have a female body, I recommend locating and becoming familiar with your pubococcygeous (PC) muscle. This is the major muscle that contracts during a female orgasm.
Fun fact, women who have healthy and strong PC muscles tend to have fewer vaginal issues and urinary incontinence AND in turn have a more satisfying sexual experiences.
So, where are these PC muscles you may be asking?!
Well I will tell you.
Practice This: The next time you go to the bathroom, while you are peeing, practice stopping the flow of urine. That is your PC muscle at work. Another way is to put two fingers inside your vagina and open them slightly. No try squeezing enough to close your fingers. If you’ve accomplished either of those exercises, you’ll have used your PC muscle!
Now, breathe out and deeply relax your pelvic floor. If you’re on the toilet you can relax so much that even some urine could flow out. These exercises are good for building body awareness and gaining muscle control. That is the ‘goal’ or intention with these exercises. The goal is not to try tone up our PC muscles so much that its like going to the gym, we don’t want to have super tight pelvic floor muscles that can create other issues. There are enough tight pussy's in the world...we don't need more.
The reason behind a lot of the pelvic floor massage and bodywork that I do for women is to get tension and tightness to get out and release from these muscles, as well as release trauma and emotions that can get stuck in the pelvic bowl.
So the cautionary note is this: do these exercises for body awareness and muscle control. So you have to option to use these muscles. You want to have control of when you’re choosing to contract and use these muscles.
Two of the human experiences that cause us to feel the greatest ecstasy and the greatest pain are sex and love. One reason why there can be so much pain is because culturally, we have not allowed ourselves to fully experience the joy, pleasure, and ecstasy that can come from sex and love. There are so many messages that come at us from all angles, including our upbringing, social conditioning, or the media that say to protect ourselves and to not be too vulnerable, or do the opposite and search for that intensity through drugs or even addictive sexual practices.
These messages can cause guarding and/or traumas in the body. When we are in protection mode or have trauma living in our body, what usually happens? Tightness, cowering down, clenching, stress, and essentially patterns that can lead to being less embodied. The heart space can become harder to access, the mind may close off healthy associations of sex and love, the body can physically become tight and rigid, and well…the pelvic floor is a part of that experience.
It is natural to feel timid to being vulnerable, I am not trying to shame anyone reading this into thinking they just need to open up to all experiences that may appear to be ecstatic. AND its natural for humans to seek out joy and pleasure, and I want to remind you of that! I want you to be in harmony with your vagina, and yoni and pelvic floor. Having the awareness to choose when you use your PC and pelvic floor muscles is power. Its power for you and your pelvic health, power for your orgasmic desires and power that allows you to be better embodied.
So one way to begin cultivating your ecstasy, the orgasmic energy that is in you, the pleasure that is your birthright, is to practice embodiment exercises. The ones discussed above are just a jumping off point, there is a whole entire sea to discover one you dive in.
And if you have any questions or thoughts about what I wrote, please email me here! I always love to hear directly from you.